yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize