So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
