How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
