Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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