I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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