I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
