dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
