Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
