i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
