Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
