he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
