i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
