the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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