True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
