Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize