I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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