When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
