That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
