Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
