I have demons in me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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