8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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