When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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