We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
