Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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