I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
