Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
only you would photoshop your dick
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
