Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
