i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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