worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Those nachos came to me in a dream
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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