Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
