Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
