Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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