you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
