he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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