i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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