Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
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Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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