i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
