I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
