Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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