Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
