you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
