Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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