no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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