well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
