So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize