is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
