i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
