Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
