i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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