At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
