He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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