You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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