He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
