Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
