FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
