whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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