we have officially lost it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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