so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
