I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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