we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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