Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Couch. On fire.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
