I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
