i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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