oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
