Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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