It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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