It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just cropdusted the office
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
