When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
