Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
