Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
