It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
