why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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